Depression and Prayer (1 Kings 19.2, 4)

“So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”

“It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”

Background

After Elijah’s victory and the execution of the prophets of Ba’al, Jezebel sent a message to Elijah. The message is a prayer-vow in which she pledges to kill Elijah within twenty-four hours, or “so may the gods” do the same to her. Note that this prayer-vow is not offered to show devotion to her god(s), or to offer them some service. It is a self-serving vow driven by her desire for revenge. Though one could argue that she was standing up for her religion, the biblical story presents her as an arrogant queen interested in pursuing her own interests at any cost.

In Elijah’s response, we see another side of the faithful prophet. He is scared. He does not pray for guidance—he leaves his servant behind and runs a day’s distance away. He sits down under a tree and petitions for God to take his life. He must have been pretty scared.

An angel appeared, gave him food and drink, and led him on a six-week journey to a cave for shelter. Rich with symbolism, this cave is located on the same mountain where Moses first encountered God. God comes to Elijah and asks, “What are you doing here?” Elijah’s answer is that, despite all his hard work, his ministry has been a failure. “I’m the only faithful one left, so kill me now.”

He is told to go stand at the entrance to the cave. A mighty wind comes up, breaking rocks and hurling trees; an earthquake shakes the mountain; a fire ravages its sides. Elijah retreats in fear back into the cave. Though these are traditional symbols of the power of God, the writer tells us that God was in none of those mighty events. After these three calamities comes a small, quiet sound.

The change and the silence are enough to bring Elijah back out of the cave. God repeats his question, and Elijah repeats his answer. God, without further comment on Elijah’s state of mind (and location!), tells him to go to Damascus and anoint Hazael as king of Aram, then to anoint Jehu as king of Israel, and then Elisha as his prophetic successor. He then informs Elijah that there are still 7,000 in Israel who are faithful.

Meaning

Have you ever been so depressed, so despairing, that you genuinely believed death would be better than life? Many of us have, and can report that it is a terrible and dark place to be. In such a state, our thinking becomes unclear, and we are unable to see the big picture. Not many days before, Elijah was the man of God, standing on a mountain, victorious over hundreds of Ba’al prophets. He was protected by God; guided by God, and empowered by God. Now, he was a pitiful child, huddled under a tree, asking God to take his life. He believes his ministry is over, and he might as well die.